okey doke. so yesterday my mom made the best hashbrowns everrr. they rocked. props to you mother dearest. then at about 12.30-ishly i stared homework. and wow i had a lot. i was on overload. and during bio, i blanked out. i just stared at it, because i really couldnt' understand it. and nobody would help me, even though my sister got like an A+ in that class way back when. yeah so i pretty much had a mental breakdown. i started to cry. haha im such a crybaby, its ridiculous. but i thnk all the stress is just building up. and someday soon img oing to explode on someone. watch out =\ i hope its not you.

then i did more homework till i was about to pass out due to too much learning on a sunday afternoon. i mean really, who in their right minds would want to do 5 hours worth of homework on the weekend? not i!

~then i had dinner. it was good. and i got to try some of my mom's steak from Mortons' which is a VERY expenisve place tha my parents went to for their 22nd anniversary. One steak was $90. HOly Toledo! dang. but man, it was soo good! :)

then me and my madre picked up cals (ash), sherman, and laurf and we went to KMart to get stuff for the hallway. then we went to decorate. it was a lot of fun! Leah adn I had an amazing timemaking our HUMONGOUS poster. "Cant Touch THis!" oh fer sure baby. "you wish you were this.........RAD!, yeah!" haha oh my i love her. the sophmore hallway is so tightthough. and the senior's kicked butt.

me and my sister were talking about Doug yesterday. do you remember how GREAT that show was? Patty Mayonaise, Bebe Bluff, Rodger Klotz, Skeeter, Judy, and the whole gang. hah! it was so fun. even my DAD remembered an episode. how great, how great. =)

okay so...i cant deny it, jon's a very hot young man. too hot for me. ow ow! lol.mmm

tonigt, my mom is randomly roasting a turkey. last time i checked, it wasnt Thanksgiving yet. well see how this goes.

aww i love curtis as my date. we gonna have fun! :) our limo consists of :me, curtis, lauraf, ashley, sammy, katie, katie, vivi, justin, yousif, ryan, jayme, scott, and kelli. a tad random, but it'll be tight. <3

Bucadebepo's (however you spell that dang name) in birmingham for dinner! :-P can you say "yum"?

okay so ANY afterparties, let me know dudes.because personally, and i know a lot of people who do also, we wann go to a crazyyy party. let meknow if we can come ;) ohh yeah.

k im out, loveyou tons.

& my love for caroline is like the sky. muahah. ilu babe

spanish=marsela, or whatever the hell that girls name was. uhm yeah caroline, that girl took a bus from california to El Salvador and back in less than a day. haha good one.

civics..wow, im on team jace..AGAIN! and what do ya know? we come in last..AGAIN. i think its trying to tell me something.

english. watched some jack london movie. it was pretty...akward.

pruneauuuu, we played "name that toon" he had an awesome mix though, and i screamed "JESSE'S GIRL" before anyone else when it came on :)i felt proud. haha. then when we were working, we were most definatly listening to savage garden. i was impressed.

went to the star with katie and ashley adn saw wimbeldon. i loved it. everything about it. the love story was beautiful. its everything that a real relationship should have. <3 perfect. yet the farthest thing from perfect.

we went back to katies. and dezzy went NUTS on her. jesus christ! lol. it was pretty hilarious.

something happened tonight that definatly made my...year? lol. wow.just....wow.

-so possibly the limo thing IS going to work out...im anxious to see how. lol.

in the beginning of the day i was really down. totlly out of it. and when somone says something mean, it just makes it twice as bad. but then iwas just like wahtever. do i really care what YOU think about me? i think not. i think life will go on. "oh yeah...lifes goes on. long after the thrill, of living is gone." * (even though it still might sting....)

i am most definatly on liz's away message tonight. i feel privelaged. oh how i do love her. haha-

it was cold today. a reality check that summers gone. i miss it though. every possibe thing about it. how splendid each summer night was. the humid, warm, sugary air. the feeling it gave you. i think about summer, and it gives me chills. and i think about the beginning of summer '08...and im so nervous/excited. because i get to dig up something incredible. :)

its the weekend. YES. god damn. call me for plans for tomorrow night. my parents are in eastlansing for the msu football game all night. my sister is in royal oak. :) woooooo. yeah thats right. call me ;) haha.

goodnight<3

and tomorrow..i will be making an entry entirely dedicated to a beautiful girl...named Caroline Brooke Brosey.

you are.

the obejct of my affection

<3

...think about it.

current mood: flirty

hokayy..so today was beyond retarded. really it was.

bio-went to the library to work on this invasive species thing on the internet. yes, i sat with myself. oh joy. :)

band (roation + 4th hour) - yeah that was a killer. except in the last half of class, we played a game. and my team was so kickass. me, greg, jace, calvin, jon, chris, brian (??), and thee two other dudes. Team Jace! -30 points. what a riot.

lunch. nothing exciting in that tidbit of my day.

health- watched a steroid movie. pretty crazy. emma came to visit us though. :) then me and cassie went to carruthers to see him, he was being mean. hah. then me n her roamed the halls and ended up in umlauf's room, chilling with some cool people. jon:" is anyone brave enough to challeng me to....CONNECT FOUR?" what a funny guy.

then i went home with laura because the float meeting was at her house. it was interesting. hah. then i came home.

now im bored, exhausted from life itself. im physcally and mentally drained and worn out. i need a refresher. i just have to figure out what that refresher is going to be. :\

"calm these engines cool these jets, i ask you how hot can this get. and as you wipe off beads of sweat, slowly you say...i'm not there yet" <3

homecoming is a bunch of bullshit. its so confusing. because we cant find like anyone to go in ours. maybe because someone asked everyone before us, and let us out to hang. how sweet, dont you agree?

im supposed to find a dress this weekend..we'll see how that goes. tryng to find something that will like halfway decent on me..oh boy.

didn't really talk to him today. we just sort of passed and left. a blurr, somewhat like the day. and eventually, this year.

i hate when you tell a person who you like,and they're all like "omg you have to go out with them". i mean, no you dont. isnt it enough just to know you like someone, and the way it feels when you see them. even if they dont like you as much back, that feeling is just so good. some people say having crushes suck. but i really dont mind them. i like the feeling, even if they end i do get hurt. its definatly worth it at the time. a beautiful wise young lady, told me not long ago how when you like someone, and you wake up, you have something to look forward to when you go to school. something to make you actually try to look good. something to make you look forward to going online and seeing if hes on. - she is so right. :\ even though i feel entirely pathetic when i say that.

that young lady, is my best friend. and i probably love her with all my heart.

thank god almighty for the weekend starting tomorrow. now i must go eat my dinner so i can be a healthy indivdual. okay i've listned to too many of Cal's lectures. muahah.

have a nice night, ladies and gents. :)

current mood: rushed

ok so yeah! we won our second game! <3 hell yes. it was so exciting. it was ou first league game, so basically in our division we are 1-0. overall we are 2-3. not that bad, but we hope to improve :) which i know will happen, since we have such an awesome team.

the varisty game friday was...not so fun. i dont really knwo why,but i just didnt have that much fun. i guess because i wanted to hang out with a certain someone more, but that didnt happen. oh well. life moves on..<3 :) haa, that was pretty u p l i f t i n g.

ok, i'm going to sound like a total dork now. but i d/c. so starting off the year, i had afeeling that ALL  the sophmore girls hated me. and maybe some do, but i'm trying to be friendly with them. I mean, i've always been tight with lizzzzy P baaaaaaby! haha i lovethat girl too much. by far my favorite sophmore. then i've been becoming friends with lizzie riggan, which is cool, because she is so sweet! i remember  me and her used to be such good friends when we were little, lol, she used to come to all my birthday parties and such. but yeah...so its kind of relieving not to know that all of the girls dislike me..

so i had to wake up at 8 am to get ready. our goal was to leave by 9, but yes, its my family...so we really left about 9.30ish.lol. my family is always, and i repeat, ALWAYS late. its sort of amusing. ok so we get to EL at about 10.30 ad the traffic was terrible. but we got a good spot to TG and we kicked back for a little, ate and such. then the game, wooo! lol we won. oh yeah, THATS MAH BOYS! haha. <3MSU<3. then after, we went back to TG some more, and my brother :D, and sean came to visit. then we all piled into the car. but sean ryan and lindsay sat in the back, so i had to share a seat with my mom int he front, it was funny. i was like on her lap. haha.

then we saw the lovely dorm. its actually really nice. its SO clean. it was like perfect..sorta scary since i was expecting it to be a pig-sty (i dont know how to spell it). and yes, i saw where matt bills sleeps.hahah,how cool.

then home, then was told something SO cool, then watched the varsity game again on tv-10. now just chilin

-gotta wake up at 7 tomorow for Diabetes Walk with Lady Raiders Basketball<3 But i'm all for it, because my cousin whos my age had diabetes. and i've seen him test his blood soo many times :\ i remember last summer, he didnt know his sugar was so low, and he lost consciounse in my pool, and my aunt had to get him out, we almost had to take him to the emergency room...it was really scary. so im glad we're doing this.

*youTh gRoup meeting tomorrow night. should be fun to see everyone! see, jewish people got their bbyo. and i got mah YG!<3 lmao how retarded. yeah sammy, we rock 8)

<<TEAM SLEEPOVER NEXT FRIDAY! GET EXCITED LADIESSS<<

love ya

current mood: ;)

hey you, so much has gone on. i had to make an extremely tough decision...and there was so much confusion. but i think im happy with my choice.

yeah so anyways, im going to homecoming with curtis! :) we should have fun, cause we're just goin as friends, so no one's being held down to one person or anything and after hanging out with this kid alot this summer, im excited.<3

jv girrls, we finally won our first game, and it was against harrison. thank godd, we did soo good. especially chrissy, damnn 19 points! i love that girl, shes soo awesome.

team dinner tonight was sooooo interestnig, haha but im SO happy that brosey and E are good now. reaaaaally happy. how hilarious that when we were playin that game  with the bottle ( hahah) that carolines spin landed on E...lmfao i was gonna pee in my pants! and now i just have so much more love for liz than  already did. this girl is so f'in cool. haha. im so excited for team sleepover. haha! that should be fantastic! "okay, so my names ___ AND I LIKE TO GET DRUNK!!" hahah i think i had tooo much fun...<3

season games start tomorrow...wish us luck! we gotta play our <3's out girls... *but i know that wont be a problem..

Friday will be fun. and MSu football game saturday!!<3 hell yes, and what a coincidence, liz is gonna be there too! how great...how great...

im so stressed with homework right now though. way too much to handle...:\

but im out, love you!

"hi i' kelly harbron, can you see my halo?" hmmm haha i LOVE you brosey

current mood: anxious

last night was super fun. i had an AMAZING time! me, leah, anna, caroline, and laurf danced our asses off. okay maybe it was just me that was daning completely crazy. but who cares? iwas havng so much fun! =) i laughed so hard last night, like every minute i was laughing. the end of the party got funner. ashley and sam danced with us too. ashley seems cool but she didnt really talk to me. but i was talking with sam and she is so nice!! shes so pretty too, im so frieken jealous! CAROLINE that funny ass girl was so crazy that night! damnnn she was getting all these guys. it was so hilarious! the guys had the HOTS for her! ;-) hahaa!yes, ok so way too muchfun. really, way too much.

today ashley and katie came over. we had fun. yay :) we plyed 13 dead end drive. woo hooo. the we went to fw tonight. we met some 19 year ol dguys who livein poland but were here or vacation. wow. they were WEIRD. "you girls go to inferno club?" haha!"we going to go watch the moooooooooooooovie"

evan is so coool. no he really is.haha. *

still no homecoming date. and it seems like everyoneelse is getting one as we speak :\ ok...so im just not a lucky person. but its sorta depressing. i want a date!!

ok im out, bball practice tomorrow. oh yay<3

current mood: cold

wow i've been having so much fun lately.and i dont know why! yay! everythings cool now.

i saw wicke park with laura last night. it was a cool movie. then we went to her house. and we had an "interesting" time.. laura-l"ets forget about tonight becasue i did not have fun" hahah becasue i wouldnt EAT her food...that girl is nuttttss, lol but i love her!

today i went to services. go jacqueline. then i came home, and i started to clean my rom and curtis and brock stopped by (with their shirts off...haha and of corse m mom answered the door) but i couldnt go o 7eleven with them..casue my mom told me i was going to be grounded if i didnt clean my room by 4o clock...and i ended up finishing it at like 3.15 so ig uess icould have gone with them..:\ maybe some other time.

then i started doing my hair. WOAH. hahaha it looks so freieken awesome right now. i cureld my whole head, and i pinned them up, and i look like shirley temple, its so feiken sweet. hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahah!

so i like this guy

but  theres no way we're going to homecoming together, so i decide i wanted to go with this otehr guy, and even though we dont like eachother, hes my really good friend, and iw oud just have so much fun with him.

i've been tlakign to this otherkid (no names<) and hes so cool! hahaha hes really nice.

tonight im gonna go shake my groove thang with jacqueline haha! love you girl!<3

well im out, laura's gonna be here in 15 minutes...SHIT! love you<3 xxxxxxxxxxxo

when im around people, i can be so happy, and full of life.but when im alone. theres too much to think about. and i get lonely. and i start to get depressed. :( i was talking to brosey about it today.

basketball wa so fun. even though we lost. because i love liz petosky so much. haha LP! shes so cool."hey what happened to the big brunette girls?"   cmonnn isnt there any LOVE here. big foreheads and big cheeks...hmm go us liz! <3 =)

mackenzie tyler is my favorite girl everrrr! she is so freiken awesome. team dinnnerrrrrrr is gonna bepretty entertaining. sept 29th babayyyy, hosted by yours truly, brosey,and mack. oo lala.

yeah, i want him. but, im trying to get over it. i really am. trustme.

ya, so someone told me something today, and it meant a whole  lot to me. i love her alot. she knows who she is. thank you so much.

and someone else told me something today, and iwas like WOAH and it was so freiken awesome,adn i am like in love. haha not realy, but WOW!!!!!! =)

mark is my husband. hah, gott alove him. "GO HOME!" hahahha brosey

the door slams. your voice is ringing in my ear. i hear  a crash. i cringe. the cabinet is cold.. but the blade feels so warm. so invting. so welcoming.please love me blade. bleeding.your voice is fading. the commotion ends. i start to stop. i stop to start. red, shiny, beautiful. my blood. not yours. for once, it is not yours. numb. i touch the cut. oh what a deep cut.deeper than before. "i didnt mean to hurt you" i say to myself. just trying to end this.

yeah...i dont cut. thats so retarded. never have, never will. i just felt liek writing about it.kk love you <3

current mood: ecstatic

the hell with it. just forget about it. because you obviously dont care

im choking.

your  suffocating me.

theres no air in here.

cant you see how im struggling.

strugling to break free.

theres no love in this place.

this cold, empty place.

i put my hand on your chest.

but theres no heart beat.

you slash me, you cut me.

i cant break free.

i cant breath anymore.

forget me. im just nobobdy.

jus forget me. because its gone.

my soul is gone.

i

am

gone.

<3

=)alright, im out. bball tomorrow. i like to be around those people. its different with them.its cool. but still, no one gets me. =) later lovely*//

<3